In my 20s, I wasn’t reckless with money, but I definitely wasn’t running a tight ship either. I knew I’d be earning more over time, so I didn’t overthink it. I did the basics, saved a bit, spent what I wanted, and moved on. It worked – kind of. But a decade later, everything looks different.

1 I used to save a bit, but not worry about the rest

I was saving about £100 to £200 a month, but it wasn’t consistent. I had standing orders set up, and I’d try not to dip into the savings account – but if a trip came up, or I wanted to go out a few more times that month, I’d use it. My logic was simple: I’m early in my career, my earnings will grow, and I should enjoy this phase of life. Nights out, holidays, ski trips – all fair game. And for a while, that was fine.

What I didn’t realise then was how powerful consistent habits can be, even when the amounts are small. The missed opportunity wasn’t the money spent, it was the chance to build muscle memory around planning and restraint. I don’t regret the fun, but I wish I’d thought a bit more about systems and had a higher consciousness about where it was all going. I’d been good at university, needing to budget to survive does that to you I guess, but with a regular paycheque some of the best practices fell away.

2 Budgeting? Not really

I wasn’t budgeting in any formal way. I had a general sense of how much my rent, travel card, and food cost. I knew what I had coming in and out, but I didn’t break it down. That felt like something I did at uni because I was poor, not something you needed when you were a professional with a salary. These days, my budget has macro categories, forecasting logic, a line for capex, and reconciliation notes. The stakes are just higher. We spend more, we save more, and going even 10 percent off-plan for a year could derail larger goals. Also, cutting back is hard! Look how unpopular austerity has been! What tends to happen is you find some small wins and self justify why it’s important for you to still do as you had originally planned. What I learned in my 30’s is that the budget sets the guard rails. It stops you going over unconsciously from the beginning, requiring less course control over time and therefore altogether less effort and fewer occasions where you “can’t do” something.

3 I used to punt, now I don’t

I’d occasionally take a flyer on a stock. Never much money, but it felt exciting and maybe even smart. Now? Absolutely not. I’m older, busier, and far more risk-averse. I know my expected value is higher sticking with passive trackers. And frankly, I don’t trust myself to out-think the market in the limited time I have.

4 Systems matter now

These days I rely on my boring systems – automated savings, fixed review points, shared budgeting with my wife, long-term plan assumptions. In my 20s I assumed life would just keep getting better financially. In my 30s, I know it takes effort, planning, and occasionally saying no to get there. Career curves flatten out and real trade offs arise around lifestyle decisions – I don’t want to be in a plan 4 times a week, there’s some roles that won’t be right for me therefore.

5 Being a parent reshaped everything

Having a child reshapes what risk means. I used to think about job changes in terms of upside. Now I think about how disruption might affect childcare drop-off or our mortgage payments. Rebuilding the value in your internal network etc. I wanted a home with a garden – not for status, but to have space for our daughter to run around. That meant stretching to move. That move came with higher fixed costs and a sense of fragility that I never used to feel. Nursery fees alone are eye-watering, and the mental load of parenting shrinks your capacity to earn your way out of every problem. You don’t want to, you realise that time with loved ones is fleeting And you can’t go back, as a result there’s fewer times you “go the mile” working a few days until 10/11pm to meet a deadline. Sorry, but not sorry at the same time. Careers don’t end but your perspective does and that can change trajectory quite materially, especially over time.

6 I spend less time on things that don’t matter

Booze. Nights out. Obsessing over every line item. All things I do less of now. I don’t need to win the weekend. I want to feel good, be present, and stay healthy. That doesn’t come from hangovers. I still keep a budget, but I let the small stuff go. If it’s a £12 book and I’m within budget, I just buy it.

7 I could have done more, but I’m not bitter

Sure, I have friends who made loads on crypto or high-risk stocks. Some even understood what they were doing. I didn’t. I was working 60+hour weeks, building a career in finance, and spending what energy I had left on life. I never had the bandwidth. I told myself at the time that the compound value of career capital would outweigh the odd investment gain. For the most part, I still believe that. I believe in the slow, compounding value of good habits. It just takes longer to notice.

What habits have you outgrown? What would your 30-year-old self say to your 20-year-old self?