Guilt-free spending is not about spending more. It is about knowing what matters to you and giving yourself permission to spend there without stress. For me, it’s built into our system – and into how we talk about money as a couple.

1 I spend freely on my health

Cycling kit, running shoes, event entries – I don’t flinch, they all come out a “personal” spending bucket and a free reign. These things give me joy, improve my mental health, and support my long-term wellbeing. I budget for them because they matter. I don’t stress the price beyond what I have available. Health is quite highly valued by my wife too, so much of our gym equipment that she would get utility from was all nicely guilt free household expenditure.

2 Discretionary budgets give us autonomy

Each month, my wife and I have £500 each to spend however we like. No approval needed. No resentment. It’s an elegant pressure valve. If I want to buy something slightly ridiculous, it comes out of that. And because it’s pre-agreed and accounted for, it’s guilt-free by design. My wife hates my tech. Humidity monitors, air purifiers, ring security etc. if I want it and we disagree that it’s needed for the household then I have a guilt free resource.

3 Big spends get discussed, small ones don’t

We tend to talk through anything over £100 unless it’s within our discretionary pot. Anything under £20 probably just gets bought. The £20 to £100 zone depends on timing, budget, and whether it might be a an impulse purchase in disguise. There’s latitude, general agreement, occasional annoyance or raised eyebrows but it’s all low key. When the stakes rise, so does our communication and planning.

4 I’ve learned what matters (and what doesn’t)

I don’t buy clothes. I don’t care about watches. I’ve never had a car I cared about (beyond safety and MPG). It’s not frugality – I just don’t place value there. Conversely, I’m deeply sceptical of the experience economy. I’ve paid for things I was told would be unforgettable that turned out to be extremely average. I now ask: is this something I care about, or something I’m being sold? By far my biggest enjoyment is in spending time with close friends, not the fact that we threw axes at a wall or could have climbed the O2, or some other expensive entertainment. Just the time to hang out, maybe have a beer or a nice meal and just catch up.

5 Spending = Values = No Regrets

Years ago, I spent a large chunk of my savings on an engagement ring. It was a big financial hit at the time. But it felt completely right. It reflected how I felt, marked a turning point in life, and aligned with what I value – commitment, partnership, showing up properly. Guilt-free spending isn’t about size. It’s about conviction. Years later the it’s paid dividends and the original cost is barely a ripple on my journey.

Conclusion: Guilt-free isn’t free-for-all

Guilt-free spending starts with clarity. What do you value? What brings lasting benefit? What fits your current life, not just your imagined one? Once you know that, you can spend without second-guessing. The point isn’t to optimise for cost. It’s to optimise for meaning. That might mean saying no more often. But it also means saying yes with confidence.

What do you never feel bad spending on – and what do you always second guess?